Independent Writing #2
So this piece was interesting to write. I started out really slow because I didn't know where I wanted to take it. I wasn't really sure how to show what the speaker was going through. Once I got into it it started to come easier and just started flowing and it got harder to stop writing.
Hard to start, harder to stop. Um I read a book a few years ago and it was the inspiration. I don't remember the name but it was about a persons regret over their actions that led to a tragic outcome.
Too Late
To the one I loved too late,
I’m sorry. I never meant to cause you all the pain that you have felt that year. I didn’t know. You were so hard to reach but yet so easy to talk to.
I’ll never forget how you saved my life that glooming night. I was living in the dark then. Not knowing truth or happiness, or love. You were the sun then. I was a scared child, not yet grown and you burned me with the heat of your passion and the light of your truth.
You are honest and caring and loving. Everything I wished for me to find and yet didn’t believed that I deserved. I pushed you away. Shoved you into the hole you are now in and I wish to God I could pull you out. My hand is stretched out. Let me save you like you saved me!
I come to see you every week. And every week it is all the same. You don’t move. No comfort comes from you anymore. No hope. No love. No warmth escapes your body. I speak but you don’t respond or give me any inclination that you hear me.
I do not even know how to begin to explain my feelings; this angst that has been eating away at me for months.
I regret nothing and yet everything. I do not regret any second that we spend together. And yet I regret not being able to let you go. I do not regret anything I have done that has caused me happiness yet I do because it has caused you pain.
I wish you would talk to me! Let me know that you hear me! That you forgive me! That you did, do, and will always love me! As I love you!!
I know that you will never be able to respond. To heal this pain that I feel anymore than you can heal yourself. I also know that you will never read this. So why am I writing it? Have I gone so insane that I have lost all realization of this? This past several months have I become so emotional disturbed that I have forgotten why exactly you can not respond? Have I forgotten what happened to you? What did happen to you? None of us really know! Why would you have been so foolish! Why didn’t you ask any of us for help? Why did you disappear? Why didn’t you tell us what was going on? We were supposed to close, closer than family, that’s what we always said! We always promised never to let anything pull us apart! So why did you! Why did you let him take you away? Why didn’t you fight harder? Why did you leave us all in such pain and emptiness? Alone to grieve and wonder and go crazy out of uncertainty! You always said you’d change the world. Is this the way you did it? Had you always planned this? Why? I ask myself everyday why, why? Why weren’t we enough? Why didn’t you want to fight for us? Why did you have to go?? Why. Why…..
You haunt me thoughts and my dreams. There is no escape from you. Do I deserve such torture? I can not sleep because I see you slipping away from us over and over and over like a movie that I hate but just cant stop watching! I wish I could change the ending, I know what is going to happen but I can’t do anything to stop it!!
And if I stay awake my thoughts wander to places I can not even tell you although I’m sure you already know.
My God, I am losing my mind…
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
Vonnegut
Three guys, all attractive, all sweet, all interested in her. Mike, her current boyfriend by definition, was a really great guy. He treated her exactly the way she should be, like a princess. He spoiled her, told her how great she was, how beautiful she was. Of course she already knew that.
Then there was Chris. Older, much older Chris. Age is just a number right? What does it matter if a guy is three or four……or seven years older? He made more money than Mike did. And lived less than three and half hours away. Plus he could buy her the alcohol and cigarettes that she lived on.
Lastly there was Frank. Wild, rebellious, dangerous Frank. He could turn her head any way possible, and he knew it. She shivered whenever he was near. He read her and she read him. They were one of a kind. No one had ever made her feel the way he did. There would never another like him. But, like Mike, lived over two hours away.
“None of them know each other; have any idea about the other, live near each other.” Why choose now? No harm in ‘playing the field’ a little bite. I’m still young!”
With that she hoped into her car.
Three guys, all attractive, all sweet, all interested in her. Mike, her current boyfriend by definition, was a really great guy. He treated her exactly the way she should be, like a princess. He spoiled her, told her how great she was, how beautiful she was. Of course she already knew that.
Then there was Chris. Older, much older Chris. Age is just a number right? What does it matter if a guy is three or four……or seven years older? He made more money than Mike did. And lived less than three and half hours away. Plus he could buy her the alcohol and cigarettes that she lived on.
Lastly there was Frank. Wild, rebellious, dangerous Frank. He could turn her head any way possible, and he knew it. She shivered whenever he was near. He read her and she read him. They were one of a kind. No one had ever made her feel the way he did. There would never another like him. But, like Mike, lived over two hours away.
“None of them know each other; have any idea about the other, live near each other.” Why choose now? No harm in ‘playing the field’ a little bite. I’m still young!”
With that she hoped into her car.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Independent Writing #1
So I’m not going to lie. I wrote this in about ten to fifteen minutes, if that. I had no inspiration other than my friend Chuck’s death but it was not due to the same reason as noted in this piece. I kind of just sat down at my computer and felt like writing something depressing (No, not because I’m depressed mind you), hoping to shock you all. Let me know if it does? So if you don’t like it then please don’t comment, ‘kay thanks. I really like the last sentence a lot because it is just sort of a slam in the face. But I’m not sure if anything before that is any good. This isn’t like most of writing so don’t be afraid. I was experimenting with switching from first person point of view to third person point of view; let me know if it doesn’t works.
Guilty Soul
They all seemed so distant. It was as if I was out of my body, watching the scene unfold.
“I’m sorry Sid, but this isn’t working. You live in Cali for Gods sake! That’s three thousand miles away! We’ve been with each other once in the past three months. I’m sorry.” She desperately was trying to explain why she was tearing his life apart.
He remained silent for a long time. The silence was maddening. Just as she was about to scream his lips parted and a soft gasp escaped from him, as if from a dying man.
“I understand,” was all he said, all he could say.
They continued to sit there for a long time, both consumed by their own thoughts. Perhaps they were revisiting the past when things worked, when they loved each other, when they were each others number one. But like they say, you cannot recreate the past.
For a week both of them just kind of drifted through life. Thinking, wondering, wishing. After awhile it seemed that everything was ok. Better even. They talked every night about what had happened and hope for the future. Maybe they would work once more.
I even found myself falling back in love with him. Or maybe for the first time? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that my heart couldn’t stop singing.
My heart thudded with guilt as his coffin softly hit the moist earth.
Comments
Kat! I loved this one. The ending was really a good, abrupt, slap in the face sort of thing. Just when you thought it was going to end happily, it didn’t! Really good though. I LOVED THIS PIECE. Probably my favorite so far. Good job Kat! <3>
Hey Kathleen this is good! Loved the ending very intense I liked it. You’re a good writer. ~Sara H
So I’m not going to lie. I wrote this in about ten to fifteen minutes, if that. I had no inspiration other than my friend Chuck’s death but it was not due to the same reason as noted in this piece. I kind of just sat down at my computer and felt like writing something depressing (No, not because I’m depressed mind you), hoping to shock you all. Let me know if it does? So if you don’t like it then please don’t comment, ‘kay thanks. I really like the last sentence a lot because it is just sort of a slam in the face. But I’m not sure if anything before that is any good. This isn’t like most of writing so don’t be afraid. I was experimenting with switching from first person point of view to third person point of view; let me know if it doesn’t works.
Guilty Soul
They all seemed so distant. It was as if I was out of my body, watching the scene unfold.
“I’m sorry Sid, but this isn’t working. You live in Cali for Gods sake! That’s three thousand miles away! We’ve been with each other once in the past three months. I’m sorry.” She desperately was trying to explain why she was tearing his life apart.
He remained silent for a long time. The silence was maddening. Just as she was about to scream his lips parted and a soft gasp escaped from him, as if from a dying man.
“I understand,” was all he said, all he could say.
They continued to sit there for a long time, both consumed by their own thoughts. Perhaps they were revisiting the past when things worked, when they loved each other, when they were each others number one. But like they say, you cannot recreate the past.
For a week both of them just kind of drifted through life. Thinking, wondering, wishing. After awhile it seemed that everything was ok. Better even. They talked every night about what had happened and hope for the future. Maybe they would work once more.
I even found myself falling back in love with him. Or maybe for the first time? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that my heart couldn’t stop singing.
My heart thudded with guilt as his coffin softly hit the moist earth.
Comments
Kat! I loved this one. The ending was really a good, abrupt, slap in the face sort of thing. Just when you thought it was going to end happily, it didn’t! Really good though. I LOVED THIS PIECE. Probably my favorite so far. Good job Kat! <3>
Hey Kathleen this is good! Loved the ending very intense I liked it. You’re a good writer. ~Sara H
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